ever-ready for the fog

 hey.



2 6 / 0 3 / 2 5 



i'm in a weird place (when am i not?)

well, I think I've decided when planning out the course of my life (meaning the next two years) and I know that I want and need to be happy, and I can't be happy if I'm chained to past misfortune and mistake.

i wanna be free

don't you?


the truth is, although freedom is the end goal, there's some that will never be free because they're far too timid to try. I vowed since a small child that I will never end up like that. I know we don't know each other too well but promise me this; you will never plead for permission to live your life. The validation of others could never amount to the soft clouds of consolation that surround once you find validation within yourself - the first step to true self love.

I know what I need to do, and I will strive to obtain it. 

Freedom is all I seek.

A release is all I ask.


All I really want is the ability to succeed, don't you? To have this, we'd need the right environment, an environment that grows flowers of flourish and love. Free yourself, treat yourself, be yourself and surround yourself with people that bring the best out of you - even if it's no one; eventually, company will come. 

I've never been scared of being alone, it's like I've been alone my whole life. I know that I'm in a crowd of people with deep disdain for me but instead of jumping through rings of fire to find out why, I isolate to find ideas of how I can make it out. 


 All my wants turn to needs & all my needs will be fulfilled, if I, God, or (other factor) is willing.


I hate time sometimes, I'm so, so impatient because it seems like all the present brings me is pain (mind you, not even in pretty wrapping paper either, just plain old pain). It's not like I asked for any of it either, I'm just fated to dance my way out of circumstance.


my father says I shall wait for the time to come so I can have fun but I don't see time as everlasting.


I'm very ill and I rely on time to heal, because I cannot take the mental and physical torment anymore; my lungs inflate so large my ribs break and it takes me all my might (and little of my will left) to stay conscious all so I can sit with this excruciating nausea and find 20 more reasons why I should leave, but I digress.



If you are fated misfortune but daydream of the antonymous, hallucinate the light and follow that path.



I must know; have you ever felt so strongly toward something that you know will change your life forever and you feel as if you have to reach for it? would you compromise your life right now for freedom?

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